Monday, November 2

Crying is okay here...


DISCLAIMER
Some THinGs MighT not StRinG
REALLY convoluted THOUGHTS here
IDEAs MIGHt sTop AbrUptlY
PosT wAs NoT EdiTeD
**********************
My phone rings
3:16am
"hello... hello?" "Have you ever hated yourself?
what was going on?"what did you say?"
You heard me
"Have you ever hated yourself... so much, dying was not even worth it?"

"Who am I living for?
Is this my limit?
Can I endure some more?
Chances are giving
Questions existing

I mentioned it twice or thrice in the past
she is more than a sister
shes my bestfriend
everyone in her life
becomes part of my life
her parents
her siblings
her boyfriend..s...

So he calls he and says
i call her, no answer
cuts me off every time im talking
which means she ain’t never hear nothing
i say “stay”, she wanna leave
she up on her car so i gotta be
ima let her be by herself in peace
but five years from now i bet she see

so before he left, she up and bounced out
Singing
them people, they talking
them lights, they on me
this life i chose
but i aint know, til i found it
to be honest, im modest

WHY IS IT SO HARD FOR YOU TO BE FAITHFUL?
I never understood why
until recently
to much strings to the past
the Ex's
**Case of the EX**
After reading Sugarkiings post
I sorta agreed with him, so am saying, We can always remain friends after we break up
No hard feelings
right?
You can send me texts that begin with "do you remember when..."
and end with "... i miss you..." right?
We can meet for drinks saturday afternoons
You can call me to tell me about how fab this girl you are seeing is
right?
I can ask your opinion on what to wear for my Mans surprise party
Hell i can even invite you for the party am throwing for him
afterall we are like best friends now right?
WRONG
An Ex should never be a friend
Coz if there are no hard feelings
there just might be softer feelings lying somewhere
I might just hate the innocent 'fab' girl you are dating
My Man might hate how much time we spend on our saturday afternoon get togethers
Why dont you spend that time with me?
three days ago it was his sisters graduation

He is just my friend!
*Cringe*
And he might make me cancel the party i was gonna throw for him
Until i set my priorities right
How i might call you to cry...
How you might turn up at my door 15 minutes later
at 11:00pm
How our song might start playing on the radio
How your lips might feel so good on mine...after so long

How you might change your relationship status on facebook from in a relationship to its complicated...
Complicated
Thats how my relationship with my man might become
You are different he insists
Am okay...
just issues
as i put my phone on silent
cos you might be calling
How we might be having this argument
2 weeks later
am tired of creeping on the low
what do you suggest? that we tell them?
umm.. i dont think so
i didnt think so
*Fuming*
Back home
He might find out through a friend-of-a-friends-friend
the accusing words might get a bit too harsh
Accusing... but true
where God at? i need to call Him
my knees on the ground, Dear Father
don’t let me break, please make me stronger
how much longer, will it linger?

Its overrr
Its over
over
How every relationship might end in shambles

Just because i kept in touch with you
How did it get from that simple text to this...
. . .

Current Listen: Wale and Rihanna
Can i endure (contemplate)
as highlighted in the post
:D

25 comments:

Lady X said...

Deep. True in some cases.

Smileyfreak said...

Wow intense. It's true,can an ex ever be a friend? I dunno

sweetness said...

unfortunately or should i say fortunately
in soooome cases lol
x

sweetness said...

Smileyfreak... until now, i used to think its okay... lol
not that it matters
x

BBB said...

WOW DEEP
anex can never be a friend
i loved
"if there are no hard feelings then there are sot ones" true talk

juiceegal said...

Hmmm deep sigh..i'm going through something similar with my ex now...its complicated as hell.
I love the way you write though and i loved this.

leggy said...

Lol.nice one.I really don't know.when I get an ex we ll talk.

Fabulo-la said...

Wow. Deep..

But I had to go back to this one line...
"have you ever hated yourself.."



Wow...

RepressedOne said...

Oh Wow!! that's alot of stuff going on.

Hope you figure it all out...somehow!

Andrea said...

Sweetness, this is really deep. Personally an ex should remain an ex.

Myne Whitman said...

I think an ex should remain in the past. But hope you find a better balance for yourself dear. Your write-up was really heartfelt but dark. Take care...

sweetness said...

@BBB yeah... soft feelings that will lead to some hard self destruction am glad you liked it x

@juiceegal...are you?aww i pray u make the right decisions hun... you takecare :)

@leggy lol ayt... am always here...wen that ex comes, just holla :)

@Fabulo-la, my dear, that first line, its another thing ohh, self revulsion is the worst nemesis ever

@Repressed One thanks... somehow everything will be figured... eventually

@Andrea yeah i agree with youtotally...that makes life much easier

@Myne Whitman thank you! i hope so too :) ur fartoo kind

Thanks for ur comments guys... xxx

TRYBES said...

Indeed very deep and dark.As sure as fate,you can live some more and this def isnt your limit..search within you some more and you will find the answers that you seek..

Hope you pass thorugh this phase..

lucidlilith said...

This reminds me of my ex. How can something so good be also bad enh?

sweetness said...

@ TRYBES thanks for dropping by
ur words are very encouraging

@lucidlilith i knooow, it makes me wonder lol

thanks guys xxx

blogoratti said...

Pretty intense writing...

sweetness said...

thanks blogoratti :)

Nice Anon said...

When a relationship ends then a line should be drawn. I liked reading this.

Ebony~!* said...

heeeeeee! sweetness we can now comment on your blog i never knew oh! we thank God! this was a good post. hmmmm, so wen you ex someone, you should totally ex em abi? nothing shele!

Ms. 'dufa said...

Sum deep ish goin on here. An X is what it is. An ex. If u wanted to be friends, then thats what it should have been in d first place.
Wale and Rihanna have a song, gotta listen to it?

histreasure said...

deep, intense writeup..
and yeah, you'll get past it..

complicated it might seem,but if he's an ex,strive to keep him one esp if someone else might get hurt otherwise

Rita said...

There is really no point in keeping an ex as a friend, unless you know you have truly moved on...

sweetness said...

@Nice Anon
Thanks dear, ur far too kind
@Ebony thanx love, wassup... yeah finally, i missed ur comments too much, had to enable it lol
@Ms Dufa yeah the song is so nice
its been on replay lol
@ histreasure i believe so thanks :)
@ Rita yeah very true, thanks for dropping by Rita
xoxo everyone

sweetness said...

@Nice Anon
Thanks dear, ur far too kind
@Ebony thanx love, wassup... yeah finally, i missed ur comments too much, had to enable it lol
@Ms Dufa yeah the song is so nice
its been on replay lol
@ histreasure i believe so thanks :)
@ Rita yeah very true, thanks for dropping by Rita
xoxo everyone

mo said...

amazing peace, da word ex is a past tense let it stay dat way lol