Showing posts with label pain. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pain. Show all posts

Friday, May 22

pieces of me, pieces of you, pieces of her

When your mind is a mess
So is mine
I cant sleep
Cause it hurts when I think
My thoughts aren't at peace
With the plans that we make
Chances we take
They're, not yours and not mine
There's waves that can break
All the words that we say
And the words that we mean
Words can fall short
Can't see the unseen
Cause the world is awake

And know that if I knew
All of the answers I would
Not hold them from you'd
Know all the things that i'd know
We told each other, there is no other way

Well too much silence can be misleading
You're drifting I can hear it in the way that your breathing
We don't really need to find reason
Cause out the same door that it came well its leaving its leaving
Leaving like a day that's done and part of a season
Resolve is just a concept that's as dead as the leaves
But at least we can sleep, its all that we need
When we wake we will find
Our minds will be free to go to sleep

And know that if I knew
All of the answers I would
Not hold them from you'd
Know all the things that i'd know
We told each other, there is no othe
r way

There's no combination of words
I could put on the back of a postcard
No song that I could sing
But I can try for your heart
Our dreams, and they are made out of real things
Like a, shoebox of photographs
With sepiatone loving
Love is the answer,
At least for most of the questions in my heart
Like why are we here? And where do we go?
And how come it's so hard?
It's not always easy and
Sometimes life can be deceiving
I'll tell you one thing it's always better when we're together

Monday, April 6


''... wishes da sun will shine brighter tomorrow than it did today''
wasn't that my facebook stats update right before i went to bed
just to wake up and see the snow pouring down in full glory
through my room window
unpredictable... that's how life is
just like the weather
one minute its da shinning sun glowing so beautifully
its kiss upon ur cheeks
makes u keen on another day
and then another day comes and its not like yesterday
da extremes are so wide
and painful
u begin to wonder if yesterday was ur imagination
as you watch all your hopes respect gravity
just like the snow falls from the heavens
the human nature
you promised her forever
and forever has come and gone
you have moved on
- oh yes and so has she
she has moved from better to worse
because u see, to feel beautiful
she has made her self worthless
to feel wanted
she has done unimaginable things
and her case gets darker by the day
its hard to believe she was the pretty teen of yesteryear's
a real brainbox with a heart full of love for you
her one true love - or so she thought
she looks but she doesn't see... her judgement is clouded
her mind is fogged
she reeks of alcohol
needle marks on her arm
she barely knows who she'll be leaving the club with tonight
or the guy with the camcorder
she doesn't even know that she is rated XXX
or that her brain has had enough of the white stuff
and her overloaded system is about to crash
this life we live
here today, gone tomorrow
death comes and adds to our sorrow
her smile so bright
she always brought a shine when she walked into a room
that was back in high school
now all that's left of her
is a line up of awards from what could have been
and i, the veiled one
unpredictable they say
just because i chose to be different
i find pleasure and fun in simple things
things you can't understand
that is just me
just when you think i'll give in
that's when the renewed willpower comes in
i write... now that is predictable
but like snow
that falls when ur planning a day out at the park
u never kno when am gonna drop ma pen...

the end

Saturday, April 4


how can i begin to describe pain?
how can u stop pain?
so much pain that am so scared to cry
to disappointed to become weak
and to weak see da rainbow...
too hurt to love myself
its like watching everything start to break around you
its like all i have built is crashing in one storm
and i don't have the power to stop it
and i cant bring myself to accept it
to accept me...
so act like nothings wrong
i listen to everyone
i laugh at the jokes
and celebrate with the 'lucky ones'
they look at me and remark about how strong i am
i smile and tell them the lord is my strength
they comment on how slim and beautiful i look
and as i accept another cupcake i tell them that to get over the bad days
i joined the gym and i take yoga classes
now am home...
just me and my emptiness
i kick off my shoes
unzip my dress... and watch it slide down my thighs
i walk into the bathroom and take the pins from my hair
and stare into the mirror
the feeling comes again... so overwhelming
the tears rush down... its hard to recognize me
i find it hard to love myself
to forgive myself... and i gag
forcing everything out of my bowels
a routine act....
and i read that anorexia stays in the tabloids...
ha! it lives in my mirror...