Friday, July 10
Built a wall around my heart
I’ll never let it fall apart
But strangely I wish secretly
It would fall down while I'm asleep
This life. Its getting scarier
i am scared of calling my friends back home
everytime i do, they go... do u remember ***?
he is dead, or she is dead
And none of these people is even past 25
its true that the death rate is higher
around ages 16-26
78.56% of the people i know fall in this group
life is too short, am seriously having a rethink on everything, for real
what if tomorrow never comes?
everyday i wake up, i thank God deeply
i am not better than the people who did not see this day
yet here i am. alive
Praise be to him
and everyday we go through a thousand and one death traps
choking on the toothpaste
slumping on the toilet seat
falling in the shower
electrocuted by the hair blow drier
struck by lightening on your way out
getting hit by a car
dying of suffocation in a stuck elevator
food poisoning during lunch
getting shot in the station on your way back home
getting stabbed on the bus
falling down the stairs
seeing a death parcel on your bed- and opening it
or the worst, just letting out one long sigh
just like that :(
for all the people we have lost
lets say a little prayer for them
we'll always love you
on other things
i woke up at 7am :)
i was so tired, i actually slept
and a dreamless sleep for that matter
so i got up, did all the necessary things
and went to school for my case study with L.A
we were done in an hour, i went to the lab to print some documents for my project
and i was going back home, and there was this guy beside me
whats ur name?
do you speak french?
i have seen you a couple of times...
can i walk you?
how bou ur number?
hmm if u kno the number of random things in ma mind right now
anyway i got back and i completed my assignments
went to La Senza with Es*ay, then grocery shopping
came back, had spagetti then sang westlife on top of our voices
watched some stuff
started a novel... listened to maroon 5
Can you see me
Floating above your head
As you lay in bed
Thinking about everything
That you did not do
Cause saying I love you
Has nothing to do with meaning it
someone asked me a disturbing question.
are you capable of loving someone?
am like what?!
of cos i am blah blah blah
i just hate it wen guys do..
i listed bou seven things
but apart from that i am a very tolerant person
i can overlook most things
am just not a clingy person
Wednesday, July 8
give me something to believe in cos i dont believe in you, anymore... anymore ¸
and i wonder if it even makes a difference to cry
aaah i love maroon 5
i was in a beautiful mood all day. i still am
so last night i slept by 11pm and woke up at 3am. could not sleep after that. great
school was fab... always is
i kept noticing random things all day
during my class
YH, my classmate, who sits ryt in front of me had his laptop open
and he was on facebook during our five minute `smoke` break
and he was going through his pictures
and this picture just caught my eye
this fine black guy
okay fine guy is not something i use that often
but this guy was fine, i actually stopped what i was doing to look at the picture
he was a lil darker than me, nice eyes... barely there mohawk
the next picture was even better
then the next one
mr fine guy nd the guy in front of me
okay i dont know why i was shocked
i always suspected that YH was gay. cool
i guess i had never seen a gay black guy
a fine one too
so my friend went `is that your boyfriend`
and he was like yeah dats my baby
and all i could think was
so i told my friends bou my insomnia
leenarh and enkayy
they were like we need to get you tired
so tired ur eyes wont stay open when you get home
so after class we travelled all the way to orleans
can you beat that
totally unplanned but so much fun
then we watched public enemies
*you might wanna stop reading now if u wanna watch this movie*
i hated the fact that he had to die
twas a good movie tho
we went shopping before that
tried so many shoes, we did not know which ones did not look so good
had lunch, more pictures
time went by so quickly
and of course i kept noticing the most random things
like how asian guys and black girls make a cute couple
how yellow sandals look green in yellow light
how much we all need our friends no matter how independent we claim to be
like how glorious strawberry and chocolate and butter pecan icecream can feel on a hot summer day
how much i despise drama
i hate drama
so i stay away from drama
and guy.. u have drama. so me and you. can never be
how much u just wanna hug someone really tight just because
how much i miss my family
how u never realise how responsible you are until u are far from home
how u never realise how irresponsible some people are until they say some things
how the simplest things are the most confused of all
how much a good father michael jackson must have been
how imperfect we are, and how much we strive to attain some sort of perfection
how i love Gucci bags and gladiator sandals
how the most beautiful things are noot the most expensive
how you can feel alone while surrounded by friends
how people you never knew
suddenly become your family
and even more
how i love everyone in my house
okay its 12 midnyt
am off to sleep
and since am so exhausted lets hope i dont wake up in two hours
if i do
oh well... who knows
its me sweetness
Tuesday, July 7
in true sleepless fashion i did not sleep till 6 this morning
i woke up past noon
well past noon
its 9pm now
i intend to sleep by 11pm
cos i have a class early tomorrow
and frankly this bad sleeping habit cannot continue
so help me God
i watched good old 'an affair to remember'
i love old movies
and i love that a little above average
i listened to all the maroon five albums i own
all of them while cleaning my room
if i was a boy, am sure i would sound like them lol
ohh am in a much better mood today
i got a call from a security service
my bus pass is back
Do you remember
The way we used to melt
Do you remember how it felt
When I touched you
Oh cause I remember very well
And how long has it been
Since someone you let in
Has given what I gave to you
on the brighter side... am taking part in another play
just with a different cast
its so silly...
now i have your attention dont i
and all i could think was are you kidding me?
funny enough it was around this time last year
So you better turn your head and run
And don't look back
Cause I fear
There is nothing left to say
To you you are becoming too tangled in your own self
am just gonna pick out what i will be wearing tomorrow
its gonna be cloudy tomorrow...
i should get back to my books
its me **sweetness**
Monday, July 6
everything started out perfectly
feeling so happy and looking foward to my day
until my bestfriend JH told me i was supposed to base my information report findings on just one company
rewind to 11:45pm last nyt
on the phone
"hey JH hows it goin?"
"hey sweetness, i called earlier but your cousin said u were sleeping"
they always lie to him
"aah um... am awake now"
"so have you finished you information report?"
"yeah! have you?"
"no, how many companies did u do"
"three, u are supposed to do three..."
"What? i thought we were supposed to form a group of three people and pick one company for our presentation..."
"no, you are going to pick one out of nine... each person is supposed to do a research on three"
and so i did
and now he just said 9 out of my 14 paged well typed out report were no longer needed
are you kidding me?
*breathe in... whoosaaaah*
my automation test was wonderful except for the last question which i totally screwed up, so much that it hurts just thinking about it
Then i went to my last class 4 minutes late and there was a surprise 5 minute quiz, i was barely on number 3 when we were stopped
never in my life have i submitted a quiz/exam/assignment with less than 80% complete
Just when i thought it couldnt get any worse
after class i reached for my bus pass in my wallet
lo and behold, there was no bus pass
it must have dropped somewhere
and its just the beginning of the month
i dont even wanna think right now cos my migraines sneeking in already
so according to my wall clock, its 4:28am
everyones sleeping, well since am not someone who whines about her insomnia, i did a great deal of internet surfing
since i was gonna be awake again, i'd better enjoy being awake
i just finished watching high school musical
and i loved it
i studied some more, i curled my hair
i picked out a dress for my accounting class by 8am
i was gonna wear blue jeans, a blue tank top and this lovely white top i got for my birthday and my white sandals, but after looking at the forecast i decided to wear my pink summer dress...
as soon as its 5am, am gonna say my prayers then take my bath, jeez everyone will think am weird, like seriously, who takes a a bath at 5am?
before HSM, i was watching old music videos,mya, nelly, murder inc, jennifer lopez, aaliyah, damn i love aaliyah so much, i used to want to look like her she was so close to perfect... so beautiful
which of cos got me wondering
jay zee and aali actually looked good when they were together
but i love bee with jay zee
i read about this ghanian movie on a blog, picture perfect
i googled it and it looks good
am gonna watch it tomorrow night
aah i was watching shayne ward jay holiday and jay sean (again)
i love jay sean
you cant blame me, i love indians
Beep Beep! oh look now there goes my phone
And once again im just hopin it's a text from you..hmm..
It aint right read ya messages twice, thrice
Four times a night its true
Everyday I patiently wait
Feelin like a fool but I do, anyway
Nothing can feel as sweet and as real
As knowing I wasn't waiting in vain..
maybe its true
I'm caught up on you
Maybe there's a chance that ur stuck on me too
maybe i'm wrong
It's all in my head
Maybe We're Afraid of Words We Both Hadnt Said
hmm i love
i said i will go to the gym later on
i still intend to
i already packed my gym clothes
and tabs for my migraine
while i couldnt sleep i was just thinking
of my GPA for this semester
it had better be high!!! lol
its getting bright... its 3 minutes to 5
gotta jump into that shower
and get ready for class
have a good day unveiled
its me sweetness
Sunday, July 5
And i left twitter. bless!
I just finished my assignments
can u imagine, i had since tuesday free
and i still feel like my little friend up there
playfully lazzzzy (aint she cute?)
my bad sleeping habits
for some reason, i dont sleep, or get the inspiration to sleep
until i see the glorious sun rays shinning brightly through my room window
then i pull the covers and sleep till well past mid day
this disgustingly lazy but refreshing habit has been going on for four days now
its time to break it. thank you very much :-)
the gym. yes the gym. the gym
hmmm, i did not smell that gym all through this break
i'll continue this week
i promise ma self, this week!
i have a test tomorrow... and yeah i studied
i want to watch the time traveller's wife
because i loved the notebook
aywaiz, i really should go to bed now
see u later, unveiled
its me sweetness
Thursday, July 2
so.. its like this
i come to blogsville everyday
i type a long post... but cant publish it
i have like seven drafts now
because am doing it again, holding back
*when you are so used to keeping everything in, sharing becomes... a sin*
sick huh? i know
okay i intend to cast out any spirit of da old me in me
and give way to the reborn and unveiled me
umm first things first, i have officially left facebook.
i was just reading some stupid status updates, seeing some annoying people i just snapped! before i could think of it ( and i always think before acting)
i just deactivated my account.
then there was this cool air around me, i was no longer suffocating. i felt happy
(and not connected to some stupid twats)
but then i realized that i'll miss the good people on facebook
my friends from my former school (at least there is messenger)
and the new friends i made...
i seriously apologize for the rude exit no warning or anything of the sort...
i was on the verge of shooting a virtual gun
There is this thing i badly wanna talk about but ill be giving too much away
its been on ma mind for so long... like a wound that wont stop bleeding
i said i was gonna talk about UB
UB is the guy i shud have been married to seven days ago
yeah on our birthday haha JOKES JOKES
i met UB when i was 17... on hi5 (does anyone go to that stalker pit anymore???)
i got a friend request and as i was going through his profile we had da same birthday, i never knew anyone who had the same birthday as me (so... yeah i know i share my birthday with millions of people in the world, i just did not know them)
funny cos now i know a lot of my birthday mates
did i mention that UB was fiiiine?
okay he was fine
so... the usual hi5 messages
i lived my life on the net back then (i still do)
and so did he... when i was sure he was perfectly harmless, we exchanged yahoo ids and we were always chatting
months later, we exchanged phone numbers
and one evening i was in my room in the dorm, my sony erricson started ringing (bless that fone it was my first camera fone, to the envy of my friends :p)and i picked
it was him
wow. nice voice, i mean he did not sound like... UB
he sounded super cool, we talked for a long while about everything and nothing
and i told him i had to go pray because i was going to class to read with my friends
i called him mate
as per birthday mate
he called me mate
as per soulmate
we were always talking.
i knew his friends, he knew mine, i told him everything, even if he tripped on something he would call and be like "mate, i almost fell"
we were best of friends until he asked me out
I did not have a boyfriend but my usual excuse then was 'i have a boyfriend'
so we continued as friends
He lived in Lagos by the way, he told me all about his life, the girls, parties(i dont party so i like people that party), he was a shy guy somehow (like all fulanis are- yes, he's fulani) but he had the whole Lagos aura, i used to tell him about the guys that bugged me, the ones i thot were cute, the ones that were asking me out, all that.
Even my first boyfriend, Lmao
i used to tell my bestfriend about everything, our fights, our beefs, funny things, and he would tell me how some girl pissed him off blah blah blah
until when i turned 19 and me and my boyfriend broke up, he had been single then for a while
He said the person he loved was in love with someone else. me
then he asked me out. again
no hold it people. he was not my rebound guy
i thought about it for a while
and said yes.
so now like the movies, my bestfriend was my soulmate
for a while
there is an unwritten rule that two cancerians should not be in a relationship
we had the same issues
He had a temper, i never tolerated most things
He was jealous, i was quick to judge
but he would apologize... and so would i
it was hilarious
oh and we kinda look alike
same fulani nose, his is just a longer version of me
am a bit lighter than him
soft spoken, funny like me. prone to mood swings like me.
so i guess we should have just stayed best friends
ohh did i mention that all this while i had never seen him in person
it was an online relationship
and the picture above...
hmm people always tell me i look like her
this chic (i have never watched any of her films, but they made me google her)
i beg to differ
infact i dont see the resemblance
but a week ago, i posted her picture on facebook and everybody kept on commenting
"wow sweetness u look gud, have u added weight?"
and i was like huh?
r u kidding me
in one of ur replies to my post u asked which celeb i look like
there she is, monique coleman, they say she's in high school musical, even as a teenager i did not watch that... i used to have the songs on my music player because i liked them and we sang breaking free for my high school grad
anyway i keep loving blogsville more and more
ohh i love sean kingstons fire burning... and hova's d.o.a