Friday, July 31

what happens when you are the victim?

My tea's gone cold I'm wondering why I..
got out of bed at all
The morning rain clouds up my window..
and I can't see at all
And even if I could it'd all be gray,
but your picture on my wall
It reminds me, that it's not so bad,
it's not so bad..

i like mariah careys obsessed. because i like mariah
i like eminem too. scratch that, i own all of ems albums
then i heard the warning!!!
okay eminem got her real bad on that one... what?
which brings me to limes
yup. limes
dats wot i call an old relationship
like my best friend and her boo used to be an item you'd love
the best i had ever come across
that was last year
now they dont even talk... its gone sour
thats limes

mariah it still occurs to you that i have pictures?

thats a classic line
anyway back home
i think its amazing the number of dirty shit that comes out after a break up
i cringe everytime i hear a couple break up
cos i know its gonna be a week
and the stories start making way to your circle her friends and frenemies

So the other day i was talking with my brother, and he subtly said something about how girls should never be caught in compromising situations or do stuff they would regret or allow themselves give someone a reason to blackmail them
I know he was just trying to tell me the kind of jerks guys can be
i hold his words like gold!lol
Which makes me wonder
isn't being in a relationship supposed to be full of trust
so much trust
you practically live in each others shoes
in each others lives... for each other
In my shoes, just to see
What its like, to be me
Ill be you, lets trade shoes
Just to see what id be like
To feel your pain, you feel mine
Go inside each others minds
Just to see what we'd find

but that's not even possible anymore
gone are the days when guys delete pictures immediately after a break up
clear their room, phone of anything that reminds them of the girl or smells like her
nowadays after a break up... guys look 4 them in every nook and corner
old memory cards, old phones, i swear they go that far
just to find something to show a friend
who will show a friend... who will...
But then again, my instincts are never wrong
am sure yours are not too
you can smell a guy who likes drama from a thousand miles. my advice? STAY AWAY
just the way he talks about 'the bitch' <-
-> his ex girlfriend, should be enough warning for you
you shouldn't just run away from him, pull of those jimmy choos, hold them and run in the opposite directions as fast as you can
1 minute
i need to laugh at that hilarious picture i just conjured

lol i need to love up with my books
nude pictures (and many other things) should NEVER be sent to anyone. i repeat. anyone
and for those that say a camcorder is the best turn on
ahh OYO men, u are so on your own i have nothing to say
i cant shout!
'nuff said

Sunday, July 26

Exam week!!

hey again!
been down with the usual migraine
it did not kill me though - it just made my life unbearable for a whole day
I have exams tomorrow, i have been reading like i should
Just took a break to pull out what ama wear tomorrow and decided to holla
Just added another fantastic blog to my roll

Currently listening to: Taio Cruz Break your heart

1. What is your name? Sweetness

2. A four Letter Word: />Sexy

3. A boy's Name: />

4. A girl's Name: />
5. An occupation: />

6. A color: />


7. Something you wear: />

Sweat shirt

9. A food: />

10. Something found in the bathroom: />
11. A place: />

12. A reason for being late: />

13. Something you shout: />

14. A movie title: />

Sweet November
15. Something you drink: />

Silhouette Yogurt
16. A musical group: />

17. An animal: />

18. A street name: />
Saheed Balogun Street (somewhere in lagos am sure theres a street like that)

19. A type of car: />

20. The title of a song: />
Sexual healing

This is a very pathetic excuse for a post
The next one will be better
Oh the sprinkler is back again

Wednesday, July 22

"...and my head keeps spinning, i can't stop having these visions"

'...well he's looking at your toes now, hes gonna do sushi with them!' and
'aah i did not read her note on facebook i just 'liked' it so she'll be happy'
yup. she gives me joy. i can laugh all day if es*ay isn't watching another movie, her favorite pastime

My presentation went very well thank you.
Last night i was blasting oldies with loove
chaka chaka: thank you mr dj for playing my song....
am burning up, am burning up... my heart is on fire, am burning up....
this is from me to you
all we have to do....

brenda fassie RIP ...its your wedding day its yoooourrr wedding day
i remember past years
how old was i? dancing in the sitting room with my momma
seriously screaming along with all my strength while trying to concentrate on the video...
yup i sang along yesternight too
my lines are even crustier now
aah i did not stop there, i went on to king sunny ade (no not the recent ones like lift nigeria... i like that one too though)
the olddd ones, i remember my mom used to have them, and play them.... jeez happier days. i dont know the words but just listening to them after years made me feel so... content
like some moments are yours they can't be taken from you ever...
i went on to listen to oumue sangare's ah ndiya, yes u guessed right, my mom again
and saadu bori... umm my dad this time

so i am feeling kanye west like never before
umm yes am an official jeezy and weezy and yeezy (can i say teezy 4 T.I? no? really?? aww, sad)

anyway i can listen to those four
and MI of course
I haven't watched a hindi movie in a while

i remember my best friend in secondary school she was my namesake
and half indian, she was always going on about this indian mini-god
so one afternoon she calls me
hey switch the channel to Sony
and i did
and she excitedly gushes
"ohh dats him, isnt he adorable?"
it was a head and shoulders ad
weird face
weirder smile
i did not find him cute
she wondered where my taste went lol

so one bright sunny day i had ran out of old movies to watch, then i was rocking RMDs violated and Sandra Achums When the sun sets (they were actually very old when i was in ss1)... i stumbled on this film my friend gave me kuch kuch hota hai
it was translated and so i watched it
3 hours later (yeah they are that loooong)
Three hours and a roll of tissue paper later
red nosed-red eyed and happy that true love was reunited at last
i called my friend, oh my God, i loveee SharRukh Khan, hes so sweet!
"oh yeah? 3 weeks ago u said he was ugly sweetness!"
"oh that was him?.... oh... um i guess he looks better... without dandruff"

jeez. shoot me!

My best hindi movie is (no, not slumdog millionaire, give me a break!)
Taare zameen par (stars on earth), about this dyslexic kid, the disturbing things he went through and how he overcame it, really nice.

I love hindi tearjerkers only if it has SharRukh in it.( only being the keyword here)A dying SharRukh can be a classic
like Devdas or Kal ho na hoo (if tomorrow never comes)

I stay away from the really cheesy ones, which is the reason i havent watched one in a while... Since Black

now that should have been the oscar movie... dont get me wrong i do love Slumdog millionaire too...

My friend Bob (he doesnt like it when i call him this) left for naija today, wish him a safe flight, we all miss him already

***leggy dear, am not sure my comment box will ever be open, i dont really write much when i know am gonna get feedback, i tend to keep somethings inside, thanx 4 mentioning it and i still stalk ur blog... i liked the one on ur sisters especially, by the way marcaroni... nothing too special, u aint missin much. kisses***

I am going to my books now. My books need me, i need my books.
Its gonna be a long night
xoxo sweetness!

Sunday, July 19

You give me J-O-Y

a weird kind of joy
so last night i watched another old favorite for the hundredth time
bringing up baby cary grant and katherine hepburn
yes dat one! its so old its in black n white
that movie was made in 1930 something
and it gives me joy in a way no one understands
maybe its katherines high pitched voice
or his quest for the intercoastal bone
or the tiger 'baby' :D
i derive weird pleasure from watching that film

so i have been listening to kanye all day
and working on my powerpoint slides for tomorrows presentation
i should be back here before midnight

Saturday, July 18

reality check! family guy

... DISCLAIMER!!!this post has nothing to do with the title

damn i think the cropped hair was a really bad idea...
you know its like when you are in a certain mood, and you do a particular hairstyle... so what happens when that mood wears out, like mine has... i am totally not feeling it right now
now i understand how tatoos can be a mistake
*today was my best in 3 days*
i did not see the sun
spoke to less than 5 people
read 7 pages in my Holy Book

i made my self throw up
old habits come back easily
i try not to read about bulamia
cos you would see the guilt on my face
but really the smallest things set it off
today it was a sharwama i ate... and i was like eww
do i really need that in my system?
then i started dancing and singing
and i went to wash my face
then i put my fingers down my throat
and i felt much better thank you very much
theres no point telling myself i wont do it again, i always do it

anyway to something else
i almost died when i was 8 (i think i almost die every 4 years jeez)
nobody ever told me that u cant push the top of the freezer open from the inside (are you serious?)
during one of those 40 degrees afternoon back home
me and my cousins were always playing hide and seek
and there was this day i almost entered the freezer to hide, besides it was hot
i had opened it already and wanted to pull a chair to climb and tumble inside the freezer and hide till my cousin came, i was pretty sure she wouldnt find me, then i realised the dining room chair in front of the freezer would give me away and i entered the store instead
needless to say, she found me first
and we there were six of us playing...

dangerous games kids play
my friend told me about her 6 year old cousin they found dead in the freezer.
another of my friend said when she was younger they locked up their friend in the trunk of car when they were playing and totally forgot her until evening!
a family friend of ours found her beautiful two year old drowned in the bathtub, it wasnt so long ago it was 4 years ago
these accidents just had me thinking...
and we always insist that a child playing at home is safe *shudders*

games adults play
Hard to get is not a game
its a state of mind
if she acts like she doesnt want you
stop flattering yourself, she doesnt want you
get over yourself
you are not that charming
or shes just not into you

to less disturbing stories
as an official stalker of the def jam poetry
i should have my favorites up on my blog
- or maybe not

i added 6 more blogs to my blogroll today
i desperately wanted to comment on 5 posts i read today but
i did not
because i have disabled comments on my page
thats what being faceless is about isnt it?

weirdest question someone ever asked me: are you a lesbian?
my lack of interest in the opposite sex... wait a minute
i should not even address this issue

aww happy married life D*nde***o
u were like a big sis to me
we were close friends
we had our ups and downs but we overcame them
i remember when you used to give me crazy makeovers
when we used to dance infront of the television
how we cried over the silliest movies
our coke and pepsi addiction
our fights over Dan browns
evening rides to video mars
singing loud in the car when driving back home
laughing for no reason when those toasters were ogling
you are probably the most beautiful girl your age i know
lol and your nickname d*nde***o
happy married life xoxo

i want to watch an old movie tonight
something tragically sad :D or seriously hilarious
i need to go do my laundry and sleep miss unveiled
ill see you tommorrow
its me sweetness


***you are a like a thorn , you should be clipped off***

Remember what Momma always says
"trust ur instinct"
and you know your girl right?
... right?
i grew up to have weird bad feelings about every single thing
from a particular kinda look, to going out, parties, friends and all that
i more than trusted my gut feelings
i closed my eyes and placed my gut where they should have been. :)
and as a result i was always...erm ... safe
but what happens when the other girl in me revolts
and brushed my gut feelings as a cheap reason to procastinate
and put a temporary stop in my Utopia
when i overlooked my natural first instinct
and did something the veiled me felt was not ideal to do
might have been something very simple
like buying those stilettos i could not walk in, or giving out my number
miss unveiled keeps saying
'enough already with the excuses
bad feeling my foot
its just a trial'
does this phrase sound familiar
i stay away from sin
because i wouldnt forgive myself after...

burning mirrors show the flames on your face

back to my instincts
when am faced with a decision or when i meet someone for the first time
i subconsciously filter through this persons aura or the situation
and that determines every other thing.
when somethings just not right
not right
i trust my instinct and back off
but on one of those days when i decide to walk in high stilettos - oh well
i always smile at myself n say
i really saw this coming
i saw the signs
i should not be surprised
so, unveiled if you dont mind i will like to dip my dainty lil feet in hot water
thank you very much
its mee sweetneesss

mood today: Navy blue all day... yellow towards midnight
i shud read my Quran more often

Tomorrow: The perfect whyte programme starts, i'll tell you about it later


Friday, July 17

what you know about that?

distubing picture yeah i know
i am sure she did not do it intentionally
we all makes mistakes dont we...
but oh well. guess what happens happens
you`ll get over it

Today: I stayed indoors all day
I laughed when: i was watching failure to launch

I was wearing: an orange top n black pants
I read: another case study portfolio
Mood: not bothered

Right now: i really should be sleeping
Havent blogged in two days because: of my mood swings

I am in love with: myself at the moment
I have a crush on: nobody this month
My friends are: sleeping i guess
Next big plan is: travelling away for a day
I badly want to: too relaxed right now

This time last year: hmmm let me see... lol i was still the same, staying out of trouble and reading too much romance

Last time i cried: 4 days ago, had stomach cramps
Last lie i told: told some gee on the bus, my name was ayeesha
I miss: my mom

Current listen: Karl wolfs Yalla habibi
Really bored with: you know everything bores me
Happy that: i washed my hair today, i conditioned it and i blowdried it, 12 hours later i stretched it
Phobia: hasnt changed... heights, deep water and guys
If i were a guy: ... but am a girl, a happy one at that

I hate: weird dreams, and i have been having disturbing ones
I wonder if: vampires do exist

I`d like: guys who respect themselves
I love: a guy that has no drama
Ì`d get along with: any girl whatsoever
I really hate: people interupting my privacy, or me-hours
People dont know that: i have a really bad memory
People dont believe that: i hate crowds
Worst thing someone has called me: Snob! haaa bless!

off to bed... sweetnessss