Thursday, January 7

Scared...



School is reopening on Monday.
Today was my friend Nk's birthday
We had dinner at Chances R.. it was awesome
I just heard that a former classmate is dead
The only one person that can hurt you is the one person you give the chance
I'm Scared to try cuz I'm scared to fail

I'm scared to die cuz I'm scared of hell

I'm scared of you cuz I'm scared of me


I'm scared to fly I'm scared to crash



I'm scared of love cuz I'm scared he'll leave


I'm scared to swim cuz I'm scared to sink


I'm scared to learn cuz I'm scared of truth


I'm scared to start cuz I'm scared I'll quit

I'm scared to grow up cuz I'm scared to get old

I'm scared of the dark and being alone

Scared to share a secret cuz I'm scared you'll tell

***
This must be the worst part of falling so deeply in love with someone
Fearing that they will leave
:(

Current Listen: Jazmine Sullivan, Fears

Monday, January 4

lies... so much lies


I just finished unpacking
Earlier today i was reading All I want.. again
I am listening to Adam Lambert on TV
Looking at my phone.. hoping it doesnt ring
Not now atleast and thats just because i wanna watch the secret life on the american teenager and its starting in a few minutes
I started following it like a week ago
and i love it already
Happy New Year people!
I was with with my Mom all this while
Bless...
She keeps complaining that i dont eat
And i remembered my last post
***
So my Boo read my blog
all of it
and he said "am never gonna read your bog again"
lol...
Sometimes i think i have the bestest friends one can ever wish for
Its freezing outside, so much
***
There is a disturbing gist i need to share with you guys
This girl from my former school wanted to break up with her boyfriend
Her boyfriend of 4 years, really nice, faithful and smart
Her Reason: Her Dad suggested she gets married to his friends son and she can never 'disobey' her dad
The truth of the matter, she thinks Mr Family friend is richer than her boyfriend even though he is older, afterall all her friends are getting married
Her Problem: She cant break up with him cos her conscience wouldnt let her after all he has been through for her
See this chick talking about conscience when her eye is scopping the BMW wedding gift, honeymoon in Dubai and Switzerland...
So her 'friends' advice her to do a 'ya kopsa'
ya kopsa = he effed up literally
apparently thats a new way of breaking up with people
that only a few nasty ones know about
And its been going on for a while
A totally random girl, probably in the same uni or outside is paid to sleep with him
My mind is thinking somewhere around the line hooker much?
She probably starts hitting on him in the club, class... wherever
The whole process takes about a week
Sometimes it doesnt really get to the sleeping part
somewhere around the kisses and make out session
Miss Girlfriend comes around

and does the whole act
" I cant believe this!!! how could you?!"
Creating a scene, and officially breaking up with him
Leaving the poor guy feeling bad about
'Cheating' on her
or almost cheating on her

How unfair is this? seriously?
So, this case went bad when after weeks of him trying to get back to his girlfriend, apologising while shes recovering from the so called heartbreak enjoying a guilt free shopping spree for her wedding
A friend of hers who felt the guy did not deserve such pain told him the whole story
and even brought the hooker.. sorry other girl to verify the story

...
Hmm life
Very intersting

Hey guys gotta run, The secret life just started
Much love
xoxo

Sunday, December 20

Exams. Done!


This post represents the official view of the voices in my head

So i wrote my last paper
How can someone be so excited after exams?
i can't explain it myself
I cant even explain how i missed blogging
well actually i lost my Mojo for writing
I have been saying Mojo alot
infact let me find out the Real meaning of Mojo
wait...
Google
Search
M.O.J.O
Enter
The word originally means a charm or a spell. But now its more commonly said meaning sex appeal or talent.

Haha!! Sex apppeal
WRONG
NEXT!!

Your cool/style essence.
Thanks Urban Dictionary
Close

So i basically lost the zeal to write
Y'all know how it is

*******

I typed that three four days ago... can't remember
and i saved it, just remembered it as i was typing todays post
Britanny Murphy is dead. The girl from Clueless, 8 mile, Uptown girls, Love and other disasters

If i was not blogging
Photography will be my hobby
But then again i'll put the pictures online and make a photo blog
so that will still make me a blogger right?

I have been hearing so many good reviews about the movie Avatar
from my friends on facebook, twitter, bb chat and blogsville
I am going to tell you three reasons why i was never never eager to see this movie
1. I am very attracted to good looking people and honestly when watching a movie thats what keeps me going apart from a good storyline. Blue skinned aliens just dont make me tick,
2. they even have tails
3. I was secretly hoping Titanic will be James Camerons best movie

but apparently there is something skin deep and really remarkable about this movie apart from the blue and green tinged skin
*shudders*
And theres a love story, you all know am a sucker for love stories
So am going to watch it next week.

5 days to Chrstmas!
Am gonna say 5 random things that happened to me in 2009
* I fell out of love

* I got my first paycheck

*I grew up, emotionally and mentally

* 2009... Nine years on, and he is forever in my heart. Celebrated yet another birthday without my Dad.

* And i volunteered at an organization called Easter Seals, helped to raise money for kids living with disabilities
----------------------------------------

According to a Research 95% of females look at the mirror and see only imperfections
7 out of every 10 women look at the mirror and point 3 body parts they will like to modify
The remaining 3 would like to modify just one body part
Girls around ages 15-19 find faults in their nose
Those around 17-24 feel something is wrong with their arms and stomachs
3 out of every 4 girls believe they will look better if they were slimmer
240 different guys from different continents looked at videos and close up pictures of these girls and thought they were beautiful
56% of these guys believed they were looking at pictures and videos of foreign actresses
98% of the guys could not find any fault in the girls
2% of the guys said three of the girls looked 'insecure' and 'unsure'
None of these girls were models or actresses, they were normal girls who submitted applications for cosmetic surgeries
Dear Reader. You are beautiful.
Yes you are.
_________________________________________
The pic ur about to see is NOT a joke


Current Listen:
Alicia keys: Sleeping with a broken heart
Jay Z: Song cry

Wednesday, December 2

Some happy stories have blood on them



Yes its been 2 weeks since last updated

...
.....
......

exam countdown has started

...
....

I have been coming to blogsville
reading

and commenting
...

and quietly signing out







Listen baby, I don't wanna ruin your plan
If you got a man, try to lose him if you can










I'm patient, but I ain't gonna try





Well, baby it's obvious that I ain't your girl















hmm lets see? recent updates?
none.

crush of the week...
none

blank

am a-la-faithful-mode


pleasures and sins


2012



new moon


projects





I need God in my life
... back in my life
what am i even saying

He never left...
it was me who refused to talk


And i remember this song i used to love

now its like ur talking to me...


He wants to bring you down, he whispers everyday
You started on the path and he led you astray
I know you will come back, you never feel at peace
You're searching for the truth to put your mind at ease
You know you're missing me, I know what you've been through
When we meet again, we have a lot of work to do



the bad habit is back


yes...and i feel better

did noteat much after
so am


(((((((((((safe)))))))))))))
















"The ultimate choice for a man, in as much as he is driven to transcend himself, is to create or to destroy, to love or to hate." Erich Fromm

Wednesday, November 18

Help blogsville!



I just got off the fone with my friend from the last post
I missed two of her calls when i was in class
So i called her back
It was not awkward at all
Can u imagine?
It was normal! like the way it used to be
(not that i was expecting anything to change Lol)
I hinted that i mentioned her on my blog
(She knows i have a Blog)
And she was like hope you didnt put my pictures?
My mom reads blogs!
Am like no hell no
Thanks guys for all the advice and stuff

Theres a Christmas party at work
Am looking forward to it
So a colleague was asking if i was coming
I answered in the affirmative
and she was like shes coming with her boyfriend
Hes so shy but really gorgeous
She encourages him to be a stripper
Haha
Thats when i started laughing, she was like for real they will make so much money
and no she wasnt kindding
Shes so awesome!
She keeps me sane at work
NOW THE DILEMMA
Theres Secret Santa going on
We were all signed up
And during lunch today we picked a piece of paper
Each piece had someone's name on it
And you are gonna buy that person a christmas gift
You are not supposed to ask or tell that person
Until at the Christmas party when you give that person their gift
Now heres the problem!
The name on my piece of Paper is Dylan
Fact File
Irish Canadian
Blond
Funny
22/23ish
Lived in Florida all his life
Moved to Canada 3 years ago
WHAT DO I GET HIM???

Another picture...

Have a blessed day y'all
xoxo

Monday, November 16

Fangs, Fur and Kissing girls


Its Tuesday
Then Wednesday
Thursday
(((FRIDAYY)))
New Moon
Go team Edward
******************
So apparently some Twitsphere gist blew up in Blogsville
:(
******************
I was chatting with a friend couple of days back
And my bb pic was (is actually)
me and a friend in Quebec
Oh yes people i went to Quebec...
Montebello to be exact,for a field trip
It was awesome
It was on friday the 13th
the oh-so-famous jinxed day
umm... no, we did not make any wrong turn
we did not end up in the middle of nowhere
There was no bloood, or headless horseman, or girl in stained white dress, glassy eyes. No well, No empty well, nobody coming out of an empty well
no nothing
Unfortunately *sigh*
who says a little bit of screaming doesn't spice up everything
anyway!
i digress
The picture i put up was of me and a friend
And the girl i was chatting with said nice pic, i was like Thanks
And i gave her the whole Montebello gist
*Check above for full gist*
Okay!
so she says nice pic
and am like thanx
and she says are you going out?
*silence*
are you going out?
I honestly thought she was saying
Are you going out
as in am I going out
(i was actually going out, for a friends dinner, her birthday dinner,it was fun, Fierce, Esay and the guys were there...)
Oh i digress!
So i said yeah
As in to the question
are you going out
*Check 12 upper lines for clarification*
and she was like nice
u make a lovely couple
umm *raising eyebrows* is this message for me?
I miss my girlfriend
Excuse me??!! say whaaaaat?!
erm... wait am i going out with who?
what? her? the girl in this picture?
Iman?
No i am not going out with her or with any girl for that matter
and what did you say?
Ur gir..gir...girlfriend?
Am sorry i have to say this
But seriously am i the only way who finds a Nigerian admitting to be gay damn awkward??
Am i?
am? i?
didn't think so...

Yeah i know there are Lesbians and Homosexuals in Nigeria
And i seriously think its a free world and all
My best friend is Gay
noo wait, he's Asian
And hes been like that for ages
NO double standard here
But this girl is Nigerian
And i saw her two years ago
She was suffering from yet another heartbreak
from the time i can remember
She has had bad relationships
Bad boyfriends
Terrible boyfriends
But does that justify anything?
Aaah men this is a huge shock
Imagine ur friend telling you this
She sent me a picture of her and her girlfriend
...kissing
Am supposed to be a good friend abi?
After all I am supposed to like her for who she is not what she is
or is it what she is, and not who she is?
Am mega confused here
And am not just gonna throw away 10 years of friendship just because umm... oh well, shes gay and proud
After all Ellen is Gay and i am her number one fan
I would never miss her show if not for work and school
She has a great sense of Humour and she makes me laugh
She had Dakota Fanning (SP?) on her show this afternoon and while she was asking Dakota if she believed in Vampires, she had this guy dressed as a vampire, come and scare Dakota, she screamed, it was hilarious
Aaaah... i digress!!!!
(wont do this again... promise)
anyway that is the gist sha
we havent talked today with her
nooooo... its my battery
loool
People am not that mean!!!

By the way - on a totally unrelated gist
Starbucks have the Christmas blend
Go Coffee!
Go Starbucks!!
Ho Ho Ho!!!
A SERIOUSLY KISSABLE MAN
Now this my dear people
i would rather kiss

Monday, November 2

Crying is okay here...


DISCLAIMER
Some THinGs MighT not StRinG
REALLY convoluted THOUGHTS here
IDEAs MIGHt sTop AbrUptlY
PosT wAs NoT EdiTeD
**********************
My phone rings
3:16am
"hello... hello?" "Have you ever hated yourself?
what was going on?"what did you say?"
You heard me
"Have you ever hated yourself... so much, dying was not even worth it?"

"Who am I living for?
Is this my limit?
Can I endure some more?
Chances are giving
Questions existing

I mentioned it twice or thrice in the past
she is more than a sister
shes my bestfriend
everyone in her life
becomes part of my life
her parents
her siblings
her boyfriend..s...

So he calls he and says
i call her, no answer
cuts me off every time im talking
which means she ain’t never hear nothing
i say “stay”, she wanna leave
she up on her car so i gotta be
ima let her be by herself in peace
but five years from now i bet she see

so before he left, she up and bounced out
Singing
them people, they talking
them lights, they on me
this life i chose
but i aint know, til i found it
to be honest, im modest

WHY IS IT SO HARD FOR YOU TO BE FAITHFUL?
I never understood why
until recently
to much strings to the past
the Ex's
**Case of the EX**
After reading Sugarkiings post
I sorta agreed with him, so am saying, We can always remain friends after we break up
No hard feelings
right?
You can send me texts that begin with "do you remember when..."
and end with "... i miss you..." right?
We can meet for drinks saturday afternoons
You can call me to tell me about how fab this girl you are seeing is
right?
I can ask your opinion on what to wear for my Mans surprise party
Hell i can even invite you for the party am throwing for him
afterall we are like best friends now right?
WRONG
An Ex should never be a friend
Coz if there are no hard feelings
there just might be softer feelings lying somewhere
I might just hate the innocent 'fab' girl you are dating
My Man might hate how much time we spend on our saturday afternoon get togethers
Why dont you spend that time with me?
three days ago it was his sisters graduation

He is just my friend!
*Cringe*
And he might make me cancel the party i was gonna throw for him
Until i set my priorities right
How i might call you to cry...
How you might turn up at my door 15 minutes later
at 11:00pm
How our song might start playing on the radio
How your lips might feel so good on mine...after so long

How you might change your relationship status on facebook from in a relationship to its complicated...
Complicated
Thats how my relationship with my man might become
You are different he insists
Am okay...
just issues
as i put my phone on silent
cos you might be calling
How we might be having this argument
2 weeks later
am tired of creeping on the low
what do you suggest? that we tell them?
umm.. i dont think so
i didnt think so
*Fuming*
Back home
He might find out through a friend-of-a-friends-friend
the accusing words might get a bit too harsh
Accusing... but true
where God at? i need to call Him
my knees on the ground, Dear Father
don’t let me break, please make me stronger
how much longer, will it linger?

Its overrr
Its over
over
How every relationship might end in shambles

Just because i kept in touch with you
How did it get from that simple text to this...
. . .

Current Listen: Wale and Rihanna
Can i endure (contemplate)
as highlighted in the post
:D